Gwyneth Paltrow Makes Me Ill
6 01 2009Poor Gwyneth Paltrow. She has been stricken with a horrible disease that makes her over weight, but only she can see it. The worst side effect? It attacks the little part of the brain where common sense dwells, telling her to do horrible detox diet after horrible detox diet.
She took to her blog to share the details:
“It is that time of year, folks. I need to lose a few pounds of holiday excess. Anyone else? I like to do fasts and detoxes a couple of times during the year, the most hardcore one being the Master Cleanse I did last spring. It was not what you would characterize as pretty. Or easy. It did work, however. As I do not wish to subsist on lemon water in the middle of winter, I asked my doctor, a detox diet specialist, for the guidelines he uses to achieve a good detox that is not as hallucinogenic (in a bad way) as the Master Cleanse. He actually thinks that the Master Cleanse can be dangerous because the liver is not supported by the nutrients it needs.
What it came down to was this: you can detox easily and effectively while you continue to eat as long as you are cutting out the foods and other substances that interfere with the detoxification process. Make sure you check with your doctor before you start any detox. Drink A LOT of water. I created this menu plan for a seven-day elimination diet. The shakes and juices are meant to be liquid meals that help decrease the amount of work your digestive system has to do. I will be suffering along with you to kickstart my year a bit lighter. Good luck to us all!”
Thanks, Gwynnie. I need all the help I can find to get over my silly notion that my body is fully capable of detoxing itself, thanks to some funny things called internal organs, and that weight loss should not be suffered through. How could I have made it this far in life being so misinformed? Perhaps I will start going to your doctor, because any doctor that recommends forced starvation and not following a healthy, well balanced meal plan obviously knows his stuff.
For shame.
Every Gym’s Nightmare, fitness, health, yoga, pilates, strength training, personal trainer, cardiovascular, cardio, exercise, wellness, weight loss, blog, blogging, fitness blog, weightloss blog, Gwenyth Paltrow, detox
Absolutely ridiculous. I saw Gwyneth on Oprah several months ago showing her insane workouts. She seriously looked like she should be hospitalized, as she was doing resistance training in a heated/sauna-like room. It was painful to watch, and here Oprah was glorifying it.
There is definitely something wrong with Gwyneth and something wrong with our society to put “that” up on a pedestal.
Oh my. I don’t really know what to say except I thought HAL was the shallow one…
THANK YOU.
Gwynnie and her GOOP maketh me gag as well.
hahahahah.
We should all turn our anger into pity. You can’t stay mad at a 3-legged dog?
UGH. I can’t stand her either.
Oh my gosh! She is ridiculous!
Thanks for posting this!
Hahaha, wow, she’s a loser! Seriously, what’s wrong with people?
I like the part where she says “I’ll be suffering along with you . . .” Um, that’s gonna make me want to do it?
My boss wanted me to try a detox diet with her, it involved lemon juice, horseradish and hot sauce shakes. Um, no thanks!
So glad you posted on this! I read her announcement and just wanted to throw things at the monitor. Hate Hollywood.
That’s just crazy talk Marge…
Wow.
That’s about all I can even say about this ridiculousness!
she has a public blog? that seems strange. and he is a real doctor? did he graduate from medical school? hm. well good news is she sounds ridiculous
You know, I really don’t care if she wants to “suffer” (I’ll even help, if she’d like) but it bothers me that some folks are going to try it based on her star-ness, despite the fact that it could be dangerous for them.
WOW- I like how she actually believes one cleanse is dangerous yet hers is somehow safe!?? Thanks for the reality check.
I don’t think I want to subsist on lemon water ever… This is just ridiculous.
Detoxis are scary beasts indeed.
I like how she had to clarify to her doctor that she wanted a diet that would not make her hallucinate in A BAD WAY. As opposed to……..?
Um, she is an asshole.
eek! i’m not one to judge but what the hell is she thinking? i have never particularly liked her and i think this is all the more reason for me to avoid what she says! ahhaa anyways– i love your blog! hope you are having a great day and a great start to this wonderful new year!
Also I want to put the title of this post on a t-shirt.
I’m with you, Kelly. I like her as an actress and she’s always seemed like a nice enough person, but she doesn’t seem to have a very good idea about what’s good for the body! Treating our bodies right should be the opposite of suffering… I like the old fashioned way of letting our organs do the detoxing work, too!
Wow, to think that her doctor is a “detox diet specialist” is especially scary. Shouldn’t doctors know better?
I never got the whole “detox” thing. Seems like a whole lot of ridiculousness to me!
Wow so crazy. I could never imagine living on liquid for 2 weeks!!
http://www.missymaintains.blogspot.com
Funny. Thanks for the enlightenment on the crazy ridiculous diets of already skinny people.
AMEN. I hate any and all detoxes. That’s why we have a LIVER folks!
Such a great post- I love your witty commentary. I too have always thought that the detoxes are crazy. Silly celebrities.
The body is perfectly capable to detoxing itself!!!
Angela
http://www.ohsheglows.com
It’s irresponsible for people in the public eye to publish craziness like this…fans could try it unsupervised (or supervised for that matter) and really harm themselves. And, sorry, she won’t be “suffering” like the common folk do.
she’s so effing fat.
And to think I was jealous of her when she did a culinary tour with Mario Batali of Spain. Guess we know what she did as soon as that little trip was over.
She’s obviously drunk one or two glass of champagne over the holidays darling! Must now suffer for this indescretion! Go baby, suffer!!
Meanwhile I shall enjoy my glass of wine and let my liver save me…….
Tusc
my my… and you wonder why we have issues??
i don’t think i’d every been inclined to detox in any shape or form that prevents me from eating
I know I was a little saddened when I saw this, espcially since she was supposed to be all foodie with Mario Batali now. Silver Lining – no master cleanse?
If it ain’t intermittent, I ain’t buying it. 7 days?? Wow, that’s a really long… quasi-fast? Didn’t quite understand the whole shake thing.
Thanks for the post!
All the Best,
Andrew R
As ridiculous as she sounds, there are bound to be a few poor confuse souls that will follow her program. It is too sad. Stupid celebrities have an obligation to stop voicing their stupid opinions.
I think she seems like a nice enough person, so I disagree with the personal attacks of some of the people here. However, I’ve always thought she doesn’t look very healthy. She always looks sort of…frail.
[...] talk shows or all the articles in magazines about losing weight in the New Year … Oprah, Gwyneth (disappointing), everyone in the [...]