Every Gym’s Nightmare

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If you’ve noticed, I haven’t been posting much. I have a lot of stuff going on that makes for little free time, and of course, the blog suffers first (which I think is healthy, as opposed to letting real life fall to the back burner like hard core bloggers. I just dont have it in me.)

I’m moving, into a house (!!! real windows !!!) with two girl friends of mine (saying “girlfriends” makes me sound like an old lady) which is closer to my work, my parents and my boyfriend and a yard for PorkChop, so its definitely an improvement- it just happened really fast, so I’m trying to get out of my place by December 16. Plus, I have about 4 Thanksgivings, Im doing my continuing education classes to keep my training certificate valid, vacations, hour and a half workouts everyday plus more writing that I’ve ever had to do before- so Ill be in and out. Things should calm down soon, but I just wanted to let you guys know I didn’t forget about you, I know a ton of you have Q and A’s I haven’t gotten to you yet, and I’ll be back intermittently to answer them for you.

In the mean time, you can keep up with all my articles by following me on Twitter. Or, you can come to Costa Rica with me for my fitness retreat!

Hi Kelly-
I have a question for you. I do Zumba and kickboxing 3-5 times per week and strength train twice weekly (with a trainer) and have been on this schedule since May 2009. I was eating 1300-1500 calories daily but switched to 1500 daily the beginning of October. I’m 5′2 and 176. The thing is this: I have not lost any weight. From May until now, I’ve only lost 6 pounds. My body fat percentage has gone down 8% during this time as well, but I’m really discouraged. I’ve been honest with myself and I know I’m right on with my eating and workouts. I’m just confused as to what is going on. I’m working out and eating right to be healthy, but at the same time I would like to lose some weight as I know that’s part of being healthy. I’ve talked to my trainer and she seems to be just as unsure about what is going on as I am. Any thoughts?

Thanks so much! By the way, I love your blog!
Bekah

Yeah, this is a hard one, because obviously your trainer has a better idea of what you are doin than I do, and if she’s stumped, Im probably not going to be much help.

To have your body fat go down 8% (which is huge- congrats!) and there be little weight loss is odd, but not unheard of (and definitly frustrating.) 6 pounds is still a loss, though. I’m not going to be able to give you definite answer, but your weight for your height is quite high, and being at that weight, for what I assume is an extended period of time cause do some damage to your body and your metabolism. It might just take a while for your body to adapt to the changes, or there might be something going on.

The only things I can think of are:

- Are you weighing at the same time everyday- on an empty stomach?

- The calories (as long as they are within reason) aren’t as important as what you are eating. If you are eating a lot of starchy carbs- those stick with you for a while, or salt, which can cause water retention (which is usually in processed foods as opposed to the salt you are putting on top of you food- but that has a big effect, too)

- If you have any medical conditions, those may be a factor

- If you are on any medications, those may be a factor

Like I said, 6 pounds is still a loss. Its only been since October that you have upped your calories to 1500 (good job, 1300 is pretty low) so perhaps the switch will kick up your weight loss a bit. It takes a while for your body to adjust to a calorie change, but I would expect you should see some results soon.

If you trust your trainer, (that’s not a dig at her, some people really don’t think their trainers know what they are talking about, but stay with them anyway) I would go see a doctor just to make sure their aren’t any problems, but if you think your routine might not be intense enough, or the focus you are looking for, then see a different trainer to look over your routine and diet to make sure that its the right program for you.

Don’t beat yourself up,- you are probably doing most everything right, and by picking up an exercises habit, you are already way ahead of the game. Be happy you are making improvements on your body and try and focus on the other positive things that are changing, even if it might not be the fast weight loss you are looking for. Sometimes it takes a while for your body to respond.

Hi Kelly,

thanks,
Jenny

To read Jenny’s first Q and A she is referring to, head to Q and A: Over Doing It

your body IS slowed- you dont want it to slow down, you want it to speed bak up. over trained means it stopped working on you to protect itself, so even if you force it to workout, you arent going to get any of the benefits from it because it has slowed and stopped all of your body processes.

when it is able to rest- ie. not made to work out, it will start to trust you again, and start your body processes back up (burning calories, building muscle, etc.) Your bodies job is not to die, so if you make it work too hard, it thinks you re trying to kill it, and will do everything in its power not to let you. So it holds on to calories to preserve the energy (fat, calories) you are so desperately trying to burn off it.

Id keep your calories the same, because once your body kicks back in, its going to need them (you arent burning as many calories when you are over training, but when your body starts to work again, it will need those calories because it will be burning them) so you might lose weight by eating the same. If you find you arent, then I would lower them slightly, because you may be working out at such a high intensity/frequency, that even your slowed state is burning a lot of calories.

That was confusing.

Leave your calories alone, because you will need them when your body kicks in, but if you dont notice loss, I would re-do The Harris Benedict Formula and then figure out how many you need for your activity level. It takes a bit for your body to respond to rest, but not too long, so you should be able to do the equation and have it be accurate, because your body will be responding fully to the level of exercise you are doing.

Hey, Kelly. I have a tough one for you :).
I have love handles and they drive me crazy. They are pretty much the only part of my body where I have excess fat. I’m 19 years old, 5′5″ and 108 lbs. I do cardio 6 days/week for 40 minutes, keeping my average heart rate at about 180 bpm (I also do strength training 3 days/week). But the love handles won’t go away! I try doing lower back exercises and oblique exercises but nothing works! Any suggestions? Thank you so much!

Ari

Tough one- HA! You can’t phase this….

First of all- your average heart rate is 180? How does your heart not explode? Not trying to scare you- some people’s heart rates run differently, but holy crap that’s high. I can’t even get my peak heart rate past 175 let alone sustain it.

I think this might be one of those things where if I could actually look at you, I would call you crazy. 108 pounds on a 5′5″ body leaves little room for any extra body fat, but Ill give you the benefit of the doubt.

First thing- make sure you are wearing a bra that fits. If it cuts into you, it makes fake love handles- the same way too small pants creates back fat where before there was none.

Ok- fitness advice. Obviously cardio is going to burn excess fat, but since you probably have very little, lets talk strength training.

Love handles are not in the oblique area, although a lot of people make that mistake. The muscle right underneath your arm pits and run down the side of you back, that on really buff people make that nice little V of the upper back, are your lats. Do lat pulldowns till you can’t do lat pull downs no more and barbell rows. Preferably with a weight that maxes you at about 10-12 reps (I like how I can’t make colloquial comments like that, because people take me seriously.)

Keep up with the obliques and lower back, too, because a strong core is very important to getting a sleek back. And preventing injury, and good posture and blah, blah, blah…..

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Hi Kelly,
I’m trying to recover from bulimia right now and am really struggling with reducing binging. I’m seeing an eating disorder therapist who says that I have to increase my calories to at least 2000 in order to
stop binging (I’ve already increased them to 1500, which is significantly more than before and I’m not underweight), but I’ve been finding that trying to increase over 1500 directly leads to binge/purges. I feel like it would be more beneficial to focus on reducing the binging first and then work on increasing caloriesslowly…how did you go about doing this? Did you try to stop the
binging first? My biggest underlying problem with eating is actually restricting/being rigid about food intake and I feel like tackling the two issues at once is too much.

I guess I don’t totally know what I’m asking…I guess how you went about the recovery process? I really like your blog and think you’ve accomplished so much already at 23! I’m 22. Thanks Kelly!! ~Rachel

Thanks for your kind words- that means a lot!

The first thing you have to realize is that your binging and purging episodes have nothing to do with the amount of calories you eat- it has to do with the anxiety- and your anxiety causes you to binge and purge. The calories themselves aren’t triggering you, its the fact you are scared to eat that many. You have to deal with why you are scared, and why you get anxious when you eat more, which is probably because its a disruption to your food routine, which sends you into a tail spin.

Messing with calories to stop binging and purging is like treating the symptom instead of the disease.

What my counselor and I did first was find the level of calories at which I was comfortable eating first, and then compromised to a point where I was at least at an amount we could both be comfortable with (me to not gain weight, he so that I wouldn’t die) made sure i ate that, and then moved onto the binges. He checked my intake for the first 10 minutes, told me to up it about 200 every other week or so, and as we tackled my issues, those increases weren;t a big deal. Sometimes they were, which meant I was having a bad week- so it soom became glaring obvious to me that my fear of calories had to do with control- when I felt out of control I was scared to up them, but when I was doing good it was no big deal.

Moving your calories up and down isnt going to cure you. Ill say this a million times- it has nothing to do with food. Once you figure out why you feel the need to torture and punish yourself, and why you think that is going to make your life better, even though it obviously isnt since I have never ever met a happily well adjusted anorexic or bulimic or binge eater and I defy you to find me one, you wont feel the need to do it anymore. shifting your calories up or down a few hundred calories isnt going to fix anything- it will keep you nurished and alive- but is not the key to recovery. You have to tackle your issues, not your diet, for the bulimia to fade.

You are giving classic eating disorder talk, “I feel like it would be more beneficial to focus on reducing the binging first and then work on increasing calories sowly…” Is that really your motivation, or are you scared to gain weight? Whats the difference between eating 2000 calories and 1500 calories in terms of cutting back on binging? You are going to have to figure out how to stop binging either way, and if not eating 500 calories was the key, you would be recovered, correct? Those 500 calories are to make sure you live- not to stop you from binging. The binging and purging from the 500 calories is because you are scared, and to ever kick this, you have to not be scared- you have to realize that calories don’t mean shit, your weight doesn’ mean shit, and if you stuff yourself full of food and then vomit, no one is going to love you more than they do now, you will not be any more successful, happy, accomplished, beautiful or smart. You will just be angry, depressed, unhealthy, emaciated, and eventually dead. Get mad. This thing is sucking the life from you, and you are accepting it. Don’t blame 500 calories for your binges- its a bigger issue, and if you keep putting the blame on calories you are never going to find a happy relationship with food, and will never be able to move past the place you are in now.

I dont mean to sound harsh, but someone has to be- and Im talking about me and you towards this, not me being harsh to you. The tone comes from knowing exactly what you are going through and the attitude I had to get for me to be able to beat this. You arent to blame, chances are there are some situations, whether you are aware of them yet or not, that have affected the way you feel about yourself that probably werent under your control. Don’t let anyone ever dictate the way you feel- especially food. Psh- what is food? Its fuel for your body. What is weight? It is not a sign of how strong you are, or how much people admire you, or an indicator of how successful you will be. Its the amount of space you take up- who cares? You need to work on your relationship with you, and how you feel about yourself. Eat your 1500 calories, or 2000 calories, and you are going to be triggered to binge and purge no matter what (thats why he/she raised the calories, yes?) so focus on what is really causing you to binge and purge. Each time you get the urge try and figure out why- its not the calories. It might be the way the calories make you feel, the anxiety you get, you had a rough day, you are pissed and dont want to fight anymore- whatever it may be it has nothing to do with those 500 calories.

Who’s Coming to Costa Rica With Me???

GIVEAWAYS!

TWILIGHT T-SHIRTS! OMG! lol, Im giving away 10 Team Jacob and Team Edward shirts, so you odds are good!
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Follow me on Twitter to keep up with my articles on other sites!

Hi, Kelly!

Marsha

Part One: Schedule

This one is hard. Most of the time, when people say they don;t have time to work out, its an excuse because they can make time to workout. I’m going to assume you aren’t exaggerating and that you really truly are that busy- for which, holy cow girl, you poor thing. first of DO NOT CUT DOWN ON YOUR CALORIES you aren’t eating very much as it is, and anything less will halt your progress even more.

So the first thing you need to do is see if there is anyway you can consolidate any of your activites- work and school you obviously have no control over, but are there random errands you do throughout the day that can all be done in one trip at the end of the week? Things you can put off until the weekend? Then, see if there is anything you can do while you workout. Study your textbook on the treadmill? Listen to lectures on your iPod while you walk or lift weights? I find I actually remember material better when I read it while working out- and its harder to get distracted. Next- since your weekend activites aren;t time sensitive, this is when you should be getting in your killer workouts. What you lack in frequency has to be made up with intensity, so find a gym, take some cardio and strength training classes, hire a personal trainer, something that will garantee you get your ass kicked.

Which leads to Part 2: Family

I don;t mean to sound critical, but you are an adult now and your parents have no control over you. This is something that it took me a LONG time to figure out, and actually had to have a counselor scream it in my face because I was always wracked with so much guilt over EVERYTHING when it came to them- even though, at the time, they were toxic for me (which is basically the stem of my past eating disorder and sounds like could be the root of your issues with binging.) Your parents actually sound quite nice, which trust me, even though they can seem overbearing, it could be WAY worse.

You parents raised you and from what I can tell they did a good job. You are responsible, hardworking and can take care of yourself. You do not need to change their habits in order to uphold your healthy ones. They actually sound pretty nice, and not too pressuring, although I know when they are your parents, its harder to stand up to them. Be polite, and just say no thank you. You are going to run into plenty of fituations where people are going to push food on you, and if you cant stand up to the people that love you and support you no matter what, you are going to have a tough time with the people that make fun of you, or roll their eyes.

Just say no. Politely. Say, “thanks mom, and I appreciate you making this food for me, but I’ve told you I am trying to take care of myself and eat better, so I am going to eat what I have prepared for myself.” Make it clear you arent trying to change them, so they shouldnt try and change you.

I’ve been through this. Not so much with unhealthy foods, but with life in general. If your parents are not healthy for you, and they do not help you make wise deicisons for yourself, or make you feel guilty- whether directly or indirectly, don’t see them as often. It didnt even occur to me that I could do that before, but my couselor taught me that you have to look out for number one, which is you, and if anyone, ANYONE, be it family friend or aquaintence, does anything that brings you down, or triggers you to make bad decisions you know you cant afford to make, remove yourself. And trust me, they learn quick. There were many times I would have to stop one of my parents mid sentyence during a visit and say “this situation is not good for me or my health right now and I need to leave. When you can remember to respect that, I’ll come back.” Do that a few times and those critical remarks, backhanded compliments and food pushes will stop quickly.

You need to take care of yourself. You are an adult and no one has control over your life but you. You need to make a change- both in your schedule if its running you ragged, and how you choose to spend your free time if its making you make bad decisions. That doesnt mean you cant see your family, but you may need to teach them that you are an adult and can control how you are treated.

Who’s Coming to Costa Rica With Me???

Hi Kelly-
This is kind of a two part question, and I’m not sure if that’s allowed, but here goes!
I am 5′6″ and recently hit my maintenance weight of 128 pounds by eating an average of 1,700 calories per day. When I started my maintenance eating routine, I increased my calories to 1,800 per day and immediately gained weight. What gives? I work out every day (I run an average of 25 miles per week and do at least one day each of yoga and weight lifting per week), and according to my nutritionist I should be eating about 2,300 calories per day to maintain my weight. The other part is that when I eat intuitively (I’ve been trying to get rid of the calorie counting mindset), I eat only about 1,400 calories per day and feel satisfied, but then one or two days per week I feel absolutely famished and end up binging (e.g., eating about 5,000 calories per day). Why am I not so hungry some days and, despite eating to my satisfaction, famished others?
Thanks!
Justine

Food is weird. and the way our bodies respond to food is weird.

Your maintenance weight isn’t really the weight you decide you are happy at, and stop actively trying to lose. Your body has its own maintenance weight, usually referred to in magazines as “happy weight”, so your true maintenance weight is going to be a compromise of those two. 128 might not be the weight your body is naturally happy at.

That doesn’t mean that you have to weight more than that, because this is still a healthy weight, it just means you are going to have to work at it- guessing and checking and upping and lowering your intake- not drastically, but you are going to have to keep an eye on it to make sure you dont gain or lose weight.

Your “immediately gained” comment kinds of signals me that you went up a pound or two- anytime you change your routine, your body is going to react, and if you kept at the 1800, you would probably have gone right back down a day or two later. Rationally, adding a measly 100 calories can’t possibly cause you to gain fat, since one pound of fat equals 3500 calories.

If you are binging, I would be more likely to point the finger at that for any weight gain.

Binges dont have anything to do with hunger. Being hungry might spark one, but no one is truly hungry for 5000 calories worth of food (Im thinking this issue might be why you have a nutritionist?) I naturally eat a lower amount of food when I go by hunger instead of numbers, which is why I always have to do mental checks to see if I ate enough (and honestly, I think its fun when I haven’t had enough and get to have an extra intentional snack.) I think this is pretty much true for everyone. If you binge, its for a reason, and part of that reason is probably because you get hungry. When you allow yourself to get hungry, you are compelled to eat, like a normal person. But people with binging issues cant stop and continue to eat. You are hungry because you arent eating enough, but the reason you binge is something else entirely and to find the answer to that you are going to have to look at a lot of other factors besides food.

It sounds to me, and of course I can be wrong because I never get the full picture from these questions, like you have issues with food which is why you are so preoccupied with calories one day, but then can binge on over 5000 calories the next. My focus wouldnt be so much on maintaining your weight, it would be getting your eating under control, and coming to healthy place where it isn’t a constant struggle for you, and then you can safely manipulate your calories to worry about keeping a specific goal weight.

Don’t forget to sign up for the Costa Rica Health and Fitness Retreat!

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Hi Kelly,

Thank you
Annonymous

You kind of answered your own question in the question. You have to stop the binges first, then the urge goes away- you have to fight. It would be easy if it were the other way around- if you didn’t feel compelled to binge, you wouldn’t have to do it.

You have to fake it till you make it. White knuckle it. All those other cliches.

Of course its easier said than done. The first thing you have to do is decide that you have a choice. You always have a choice. Each bite of food that you put into your mouth is another opportunity to decide to stop. I used to have the mentality that, “well, I already started binging so I might as well finish it up because I blew bit already” but this is the wrong way of thinking- its just making excuses for yourself. Each step is a success, so if you stop one bite into the binge, or one bite

So what happens? You start to binge, and try and stop, but you get anxious. All you can think about it finishing your binge, and you won;t be able to calm down until you do. You might physically get shakey, or your heart might beat fast and your head spins (sounds like drugs, no?) but guess what? That feeling goes away. Research shows it goes away within an hour, but mine usually didn’t take that long.

The trick now is to distract yourself. You can go about it one of two ways: you can tackle it head on and try and sort through your feelings, or you can ignore them completely. Generally, in the beginning its best to just distract yourself, and do anything you can to pass the time: call a friend, go for a walk- but its usually best if you get out of the house and away from food until the urge goes away. Then, when you get better are resisting the urge, you can use your anxiety to try and figure out why you respond to food the way you do: why do I want to binge right now? what happened that is causing me to react this way? journal about it. talk to yourself out loud. Lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling and just listen to all the thoughts racing through your head and shoot each one down. No i dont need to binge. No it wont make me feel better. No this isnt going to solve anything. No this is not the person I want to be.

The urge will go away when you stop giving into the binges. You are binging because its the only way you know how to deal with your anxiety, but when you dont let yourself do it anymore, you will naturally lose the need to. The clearer your mind gets, and the better you feel about yourself after resisting a few times, you’ll start to realize exactly what triggers you and find a way to deal with it head on- not in a self destructive way. Good luck.

Don;t forget to sign up for the Costa Rica Health and Fitness Retreat?

Giveaways!

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Bugalug hair accessories (random, I know- I write for a parenting site! and I guess you could wear them yourself? Come on- its free!)

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Do you know what causes the popping noise during exercise? The classic example might be a knee pop during a lunge, but my shoulders pop like crazy during front raises and side lateral raises. The pops are pretty loud and aren’t limited to just the first or two reps! The pops aren’t there for each and every lift, but maybe 40% of the time. This is not the exercise soundtrack I want! Any ideas? thanks! Also, your last two posts were particularly awesome. Thanks!

Mackenzie

You know, I HAVE NO IDEA. Well, I didn’t, so I looked it up. I have a shoulder and an elbow that crack pretty gnarly sometimes, but normally a lot of people’s knees crack with regular movement.

I DID know, however, that if your joints pop without your forcing them and it doesn’t hurt- you are fine, and don’t worry about it. If you force them to pop- that’s bad. And if it hurts when they pop- that’s bad.

I found a pretty good answer, and don’t really feel like summarizing it (I’m busy! Sue me) so here it is:

From HowStuffWorks:

Joints are the meeting points of two separate bones, held together and in place by connective tissues and ligaments. All of the joints in our bodies are surrounded by synovial fluid, a thick, clear liquid. When you stretch or bend your finger to pop the knuckle, you’re causing the bones of the joint to pull apart. As they do, the connective tissue capsule that surrounds the joint is stretched. By stretching this capsule, you increase its volume. And as we know from chemistry class, with an increase in volume comes a decrease in pressure. So as the pressure of the synovial fluid drops, gases dissolved in the fluid become less soluble, forming bubbles through a process called cavitation. When the joint is stretched far enough, the pressure in the capsule drops so low that these bubbles burst, producing the pop that we associate with knuckle cracking.

This doesn’t really answer this situation, though, because why do some areas pop on some people and not others.

I dug around a little more, and found that sometimes popping that occurs on its own is a sign of the joints hypermobility- the tendons and ligaments are not as tight, or as strong as they should be, so the joint slips larger on its own, without any force. So my shoulder and elbow are more hypermobile than the rest of me, as someone who’s knee pops is more hypermobile that the rest of their joints.

My elbow actually locks up sometimes, and I have to force it straight and it pops, but other times it does it on its own, so actually i dont know which it is.

Arthritis has not been proven to be a side effect of popping, but due to the stress it puts on the connective tissue, you can cause some soft tissue damage.

Are you coming to the Costa Rica Health and Fitness Retreat? I just got my passport yesterday!

New Giveaways!

EAS Myoplex Strength Formula shakes (these things are good)
Bugalug hair accessories (random, I know- I write for a parenting site! and I guess you could wear them yourself? Come on- its free!)

Free Sample!
Promax Bar

I keep accidentally deleting your comments because I’m an idiot. I don’t hate you guys, and I love all of your comments, I just keep being careless and forgetting to switch to awaiting moderation instead of all before I delete them in an effort to get rid of the ridiculous amount of spam I get.

So sorry! Keep commenting, lol!